Well, I must open with an apology for not keeping to my last words in Part 1, to not wait 3 months before posting again. I guess I could argue I kept to my word by waiting way over three months 😉 I will just refrain from making such promises.
I was recently asked, “where do you go to church?” You would think that after 9 years to ponder the answer and practice the response I would be proficient by now. Not so. If I know the person asking the question is a Christian who has a typical understanding of ‘church,’ then I often answer, nowhere. I have toyed with the idea of asking, rather than answering, “is church something you go to, or something we (Christians) are, right where we are?” I don’t want to come across as snarky, but maybe I should ask that question to possibly provoke a more meaningful conversation than a simple, I go to church x, or, I don’t go anywhere response.
Another interesting comment I came across frequently during the onset of the pandemic, and often said by church leaders, was something like, “how we do church has changed.” This was often said while explaining how church was still being practiced even if online and not in person in their church’s building.
Rewind the clock to 2011 and I would have answered the same question with a ‘church’ name and the location of their place of meeting. Most also can provide a specific location of meeting e.g., street name, number, city and zip code.
Of interest are the early references to groups of believers in the New Testament e.g., “the church in Jerusalem” (Acts 8:1). No street name and number, but a citywide reference. Not the First Jerusalem Church, but the church in Jerusalem. An even broader geographic reference is seen in this text, “So the church throughout Judea, Galilee, and Samaria enjoyed peace, as it was being built up…” (Acts 9:31).
And regarding what constitutes church here are two more texts. “When they had arrived and gathered the church together” (Acts 14:27). The gathered and/or gathering of the local believers did not upon being gathered constitute ‘church,’ the church was constituted by those believers living in the area. And an even smaller gathering, “Also greet the church that is in their house” (Rom. 16:5). This is not a house church, but the church i.e., the people in the house.
It could be argued that this was in the early, more formative, years of the church. They were not as organized yet. However, in each instance church is not referred to as a place believers ‘go’ to, but where they are presently located, gathered or not. It is also not something believers do.
You might wonder why I am writing about this. I’ve asked myself that question several times. In part I have procrastinated making this post because I know and love many people who hold firmly to the traditional understanding of ‘church,’ and who would think it an indicator of a failure or weakening of one’s faith to differ in belief and/or practice on this matter. I had been in ‘church’ for so long I wrestled with doubts concerning my faith for several years after not attending a ‘church.’ I am NOT trying to persuade people who go somewhere to gather with other believers to cease that practice. I don’t think it is wrong to do so. What I do think is wrong is calling into question the faith of others who don’t go. For you I hope my comments challenge you to consider the subject from a different perspective. For those who hold a perspective like mine, I write to encourage you in your faith. Your faith is not in question because you answered nowhere. You are part of the church in ____________ (where you are).
PART 2 – continued
One reader asked me if I would comment on what brought me to change my view on “church” and to stop attending one. While I did provide a concise overview of my life in “churches” in Part 1, I merely stated when I stopped going to one without my personal reasons for doing so. I will endeavor to provide an answer.
While I was in seminary, working a full time job, and doing my best to love my wife and four children, my involvement in church events and activities were very limited (I remained fairly consistent in Sunday service attendance and would on rare occasions participate in other church related gatherings e.g. home groups, cookouts, and retreats). I think this marked the beginning of my awareness that one could attend a meeting for an hour or two with the same group of people and never really get to know anyone. In fairness I will admit that I was not pursuing relationships among my fellow churchgoers during those four or so years in seminary. That said, I don’t recall anyone trying to develop friendships with me either. The fact that I did not hear from anyone after a year or more of not attending adds credence to that claim.
When I was done with my seminary studies I was a regular attendee and not only participated in other events and groups, I led a few groups. While leading a small group I had a conflict with the leaders over a minor doctrine (tithing) that was just beginning to be used to qualify, and so disqualify, someone from being a small group leader. After several spoken and written appeals to the leadership with no wavering on either side, I withdrew from small group leadership. This essentially relegated my role in the church to one of attendee/participant only. It was during a period of a year or so in this “mode” of participation that I reflected on what “church” meant to me. I spent 2 hours one morning a week with a group of people (I did attend some midweek meetings too) who I did not experience life with outside of that brief window of time. We would shake hands coming in the door, exchange pleasantries at a designated time in the meeting with those near you, sing together, listen to a sermon, maybe pray with others, then shake hands on the way out.
After a year or so of participating in this manner, my thoughts that there had to be more to “church” than this grew stronger and more frequent. I kept thinking that we were not experiencing real neighborly life and love together. I began to feel like I was just punching my timecard each week, and it was making little sense to me as to why I was going? Have you ever gone to a party and made your way around the room chatting with people here and there, hearing all the banter and laughter, but feeling like you could walk out the door unnoticed at any time? Feeling like the only thing keeping this group gathered together are the four walls (maybe five or six in some venues 🙂 ) and the refreshments? In the case of “church” it was taught that is was imperative for you come to church, and that when there you worship God, fellowship with others, and give financially toward the needs of the “church.” It seemed to me I/we could worship God and love others (including giving in various ways) without going to a church. So I left. Although by my definition of church it is not “something” you leave because it is not a place to which you go.
I am ending this appended section by referring the reader to a friend who is esteemed as both a theologian and a writer, and who has written on this subject, Wayne Jacobsen. In particular I would recommend his book titled, Finding Church: What If There Really Is Something More?, as a well-written treatment of the subject.